Countdown

It's New Year's Eve and I'm not quite sure how this past year went by so fast!

I'm sure for those of you following, it was apparent quite a few months ago that I wasn't going to make my goal of of posting one blog every day or reaching 365 posts. Even though I didn't make it, I'm still proud of getting past the 250 mark. It's been a busy year full of ups and downs but I can't really say I'd change much. Each bump in the road is just another opportunity to learn something about myself.

As the minutes tick closer to midnight, and this blog comes to a close, I'm already looking forward to all the great things to come. Thanks so much for following me this past year and look out for the new blog starting next week: Project 52

Happy New Year everyone!

Finding Time

People keep asking me what I've been up to lately and I keep having to explain that all I've been doing is working which is pretty sad.  In an attempt to reignite the creative juices that have been suffocating beneath my pile of work, I've gone back to be the beginning of the blog.  What I've realized after reading the first couple of months is that I owe quite a few updates on things I've failed to follow up on.  Mission accomplished - I hope you all (if any of you are still following) don't mind heading back for a bit =)

7 Weeks

What was supposed to be a brief break from blogging accidentally turned into a seven week hiatus.  I'm not quite sure where all the time went - I'm sure most of it was spent working in the park as I was managing the annual Stanley Park Ghost Train five nights a week.  As for the rest of the time, I can't really say I know exactly how it passed so quickly but I have a feeling most of it was spent sleeping since not much else went on this month. 

It's actually quite sad to see that in writing - clearly my hopes of finding a better work/life balance have not been realized at this point and I've put myself that much further away from achieving my goal of 365 posts this year.  As always, I've managed to discover a bit of a silver lining out of all of this - the blog has managed to continually draw readers even throughout my extended absence.  Yay for Google searches! =)

The past seven weeks have been very tiring, somewhat thankless, and even slightly lonely at times.  I've missed having a place to come express myself, even if it was only for a few lines.  Being away for so long has reminded me exactly why I started this blog in the first place and how much work there is still to be done before I reach some of those personal goals.  Absence has made my heart grow fonder and I'm looking forward to the rest of the ride.

Forced

I fell asleep last night before I could write a post.  Because I've already used up all of my 'missed day passes,' I guess this means I lost the bet.  Truthfully, I'm surprised I made it this long by sheer will some days as many of you can attest to.  I put in the 'bunk' comment option for good reason.  I knew that in the course of 365 days, there would be a number of bad days, hopefully out numbered by the good ones.

I'm still going to keep plugging away in hopes of reaching 365 posts by the time December 31st rolls around. While I may have lost my initial bet with a friend, who clearly doesn't know how to make a bet since there are no consequences stipulated should I lose, I still have a promise to keep to myself.  After all, I'm never going to get published if I quit at the first speed bump now am I?

Deadlines

Coming, going, missing, meeting - I'd love to be without them to regain my sanity, but things would get too insane.  Something needs to be done in terms of deadlines for this blog because content under the current agreement sucks lately.  It's my own fault but you're the ones suffering which is unacceptable to me =)

Out of Touch

Looking through the posts this past month is a bit sad.  It really goes to show just how much I let myself get lost in work.  There have been so many missed opportunities to relax, unwind, and generally catch up with everything else in my life.  More time lost to work and sickness than actually spent enjoying it.

The worst part of drowning in work comes at this point, when I emerge and realize just how much I've missed.  It's almost like coming home after being away for an extended period of time.  Most things haven't changed drastically, but all those little changes add up after a while and you're left trying to find your footing.

Note to future self: remember how you feel right now and try to avoid it at all costs!

Apples & Oranges

It's different being on the other end of the event process. For the last 2 years I've really only experienced the event day - usually coming in just as the event starts and staying through to the bitter end (unless it's one of my own events).

Tonight was one of my few experiences with being involved with the planning and it's really difficult to compare the two experiences because they are so different. All I can really say is I love this one more and am looking forward to more =)

Done

Stick a fork in me, because I'm done.  Passing out fully clothed, on top of the covers (or in the armchair), with the lights on isn't something that is unusual for me to do.  Falling asleep like this for almost a consecutive week - now that is unheard of.  Clearly it's been a busy time with the new job but this is just getting ridiculous!  Off to drag myself into my actual bed for the rest of the night =s

Routines

I'm trying to get into one but it's proving difficult as my schedule can change from week to week depending on what events we have coming down the line and what meetings are scheduled at the start and end of the day.  The only thing certain at this point is that I find myself passing out between 9 - 10:30 pm most nights and this one is no exception.  Looking forward to having the weekend off to sort myself out!

Seriously?

Two weeks ago it was strep throat and now it's an outbreak of hives!  I'm pretty sure it's an allergic reaction to the strep antibiotics but have no time to actually see the doctor to find out.  Needless to say, the past few days have gotten progressively worse - is this what it feels like to have poison ivy (or any other ridiculously itchy ailment)? Going to attempt to put myself out of my misery now =(

10 Years

Today has been full of special reports, commemorative stories, and remembrance.

It seems redundant for me to add another memorial to the mix but when an event happen on a scale like this, it is impossible to not be affected.

I wasn't in New York when the planes crashed but I remember almost everything about that day. I remember the fear, panic, and the realization that nothing would ever be the same.

Today isn't a day to talk about blame, politics, or the business of war. Today is the time to remember all of those that were lost, to be thankful for those that were saved, and to share our collective wish for a better future.

I will never forget September 11th, 2001, and I'll never stop hoping that we never have another day like it.

Take a Gamble

It's Vegas night at the Italian Cultural Centre for a staff party tonight. Roulette, poker, blackjack, raffles, trivia, and slot machines are all on the menu with some pretty sweet prizes on the line. Photos will show up somewhere in this post - it's my first time using the brand spanking new blogger app so apologies if this turned out weird =)

Milestones

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

~ Lao Tzu ~

This weekend is all about milestones as my grandmother turns 85 on the same day the world commemorates the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy.

Of course this also happens to be an extremely busy work weekend for me between a staff event on Saturday, the We Love Vancouver Festival on Sunday, and a number of family events throughout the weekend, most of which I'll miss =(

First week of work down, 23 more to go before I can (hopefully) take a vacation.  Be back tomorrow with more (possibly exciting, probably entertaining) news!

Happy Weekend Everyone =)

Hitting the Fan

Remember when I talked about the end of your intro period at work?  Well mine is pretty much over which I discovered today.  If I had to find one word to sum up what my life is going to be like for the next few months it would be hectic!  Off to get some more work done tonight =(

I Do

"Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live."

~ Mignon McLaughlin ~

Almost 2 months ago, the first of my friends got married.  July 16th was another rainy day here in Vancouver but nothing could dampen the sense of celebration and joy felt by Kristal, Ben, and their friends and family.  We're at the point in our lives where weddings are going to be our main reason to reunite as we're partially scattered right now.  I've been without a camera for months now so we'll have to rely on my ever present phone and the photos of others for your glimpse into this day.


Post Shower/Birthday Party the week prior

 

Ceremony @ Queen Elizabeth Park

Maid of Honour Julia & Gee

Jamie striking a pose

Cake cutting!



Bridal party bouquet



Dancing the night away



Photo Booth Fun for the OAMC =)

See everyone at the next wedding! =)

First Days

As is usually the case, your first day at a new job or in a new school is never as bad as you think it could be.  Your worries are mostly proven to be unfounded and you find yourself hitting an unexpected groove.  You're feeling confident as you walk in and that's when it happens - it hits the fan and you're left scrambling like a chicken with your head cut off.  That false sense of security you lulled yourself into just a blip on the distant horizon.  It could happen as early as your second day or even as late as your second month but the day will eventually dawn when you are welcomed to your real first day.  Just something that popped into my mind as I get set for my very own day 2 tomorrow =)

Nerves

Labour Day always bring back memories of back to school jitters; not knowing what the new school year would bring, wondering how classes would go, and hoping it would all be better than the previous year.


I'm not in school anymore but this weekend is bringing all of those old nerves back as tomorrow is my first day at my new position at work.  Even though I've been with them for almost a year, there's still that sense of nervousness that accompanies any promotion.  Wish me luck!

Between the Lines

One of the only nice things about being sick is that I've had a lot of time to catch up on my reading.  Way back when I was struggling to find a path in university, I contemplated going into publishing or even being a literary agent (being an agent for authors).  I figured I should try to find a profession that had to do with something I loved.  This also happened to be a point in my life where I was even less confident in my skills as a writer and couldn't find any sort of motivation to help myself improve.  I figured, since I probably didn't stand any chance of getting published, I might as well help others do what I could only dream about.  Looking back at a lot of my early work from high school and the first few years of college, I can't say I disagree with my original assessment.  Thankfully, that was many years ago and I (hopefully) have become a better writer since then.

I'm not really sure where my love of literature came from as no one in my family is as obsessive about it as I am.  If I had to pick some sort of trigger, I'd have to say it was probably because I was painfully shy as a kid.  Everyone at my elementary school already seemed to know each other, growing up in the same neighbourhoods and attending the same pre-school.  Then there was me, fresh of a plane from the Philippines, unsure of pretty much everything at that point.  So, instead of pushing forward and making new friends, I retreated into the safety of books, getting lost in their stories, finding characters I wish I could be like.  Even today, sometimes I'd rather revisit some of my fictional friends rather than go out with my real ones.  I just read that back and it seems a bit pathetic, but I can't deny the truth - everyone needs a bit of a break once in a while!

One of the reasons I always seem to have so many new books to catch up on is because I love re-reading the ones I've already been through.  I tend to read through novels extremely fast the first time around, especially if it's a new installment in a series (i.e. Harry Potter), sometimes getting through thick volumes in mere hours.  The reason I read books multiple times is that I always find details I missed the first few times around.  I love finding new details that enrich the story, deciphering the intricacies of foreshadowed clues and discovering the exact moments the plot shifts.  Simply put, I read not just for the pure entertainment, but to learn.  After all, who better to learn from than those that have already paved the way?

Writing is something I just don't know how to stop doing.  We all have various outlets in which we can channel our emotions - whether it is sports, music, dance, art, or even destructive addictions.  I can honestly admit that I would be lost without my ability to write.  I may not always find the right words to speak at the right time, but I do like to think given some time and a blank page, I can create something meaningful that probably won't change the whole world, but maybe just one person's world.  I used to write letters because I was too scared to say the words out loud - it was just another way for me to stay anonymous.  Now I write because I've realized my voice isn't insignificant; what I say can have depth, meaning, and weight.  I write because it's a part of who I am, and I'm not afraid to let people see the real me anymore.

I know this post is a bit long winded and scattered as per usual, but that's mainly because I'm racing the clock once again.  I used to write just for myself, but now I write for all of you too.  The fact that anyone reads this blog at all was more than I could've hoped for, but knowing there are strangers around the world taking the time to see what I have to say is staggering.  All I can say at this point is thank you for reading.  You all have given me hope and courage to continue on this path, but mostly, you've given me a voice.  Even if my literary dreams never come true, at least I have this to look back on to see just how far I was able to go, which is already much farther than I used to be able to imagine. 

Crazy Little Things

I noticed an interesting trend that came to light after watching the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love.  Quick summary for those that haven't seen it; Steve Carell plays an ordinary middle aged father who just found out that his wife, played by Julianne Moore, had an affair and wants a divorce.  He eventually meets Ryan Gosling, a self-assured playboy, who decides to help him find his lost manhood.  Now before you think this is a typical chick flick, keep in mind, the principal characters we are focusing on are the men. 

It's an interesting perspective to watch a man go through the transformation process in an attempt to make himself more desirable to the opposite sex.  Yes, at the core, this is a love story, but it is one filled with heartache, comedy, depth, and soul.  It looks at the different forms love can take and the different ways we try to capture and keep it.  For me, it was about the ways love can change us as we fall in and out of it.  Personally, I haven't really encountered many stories like this, and I have to admit, even though the themes explored aren't gender specific, I was enthralled.  The change of view was refreshing and it felt like the genre was getting a much needed breath of fresh air.

Soon after watching Crazy, Stupid, Love, I read the book Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby.  This is a great book by a best selling author who always manages to surprise me in so many small ways.  Juliet, Naked brings us two people who have settled for what was comfortable and the reclusive former rock star who unknowingly changed their fate with his music. 

Annie is the female protagonist and even though she was written by a man, she was a character I had absolutely no problem relating to.  We are similar in many ways and I can safely say I knew exactly how she was feeling throughout the book because I had come to similar conclusions about my own life even though we are completely different in that regard.  This is a story that speaks of loneliness, regret, and the consequences of our choices to run away or settle down.  It's amazing how your entire perspective can change just by stepping back and looking at things from a different angle.

*~~* SPOILERS UPCOMING! *~~*

There are quite a few parallels I could draw between the two stories but the thing that stayed with me long after they were over was the fact neither of them had a defined ending.  The outcomes were implied, but the audience was left to construct their own versions of the journey that would take these characters to where we think they will end up.  Most viewers or readers will assume that the characters end up together, happily in love, but as is the case in reality, there are no guarantees that is what actually happens.  See what I mean about new life and surprises?

These stories were more than just about falling in and out of love.  They were about falling down and learning how to get up and keep going; how to overcome the roadblocks in your life and become better people for it.  Most importantly, it was a reminder that our own happy endings are out there somewhere, we just need to go make them happen.

The Slippery Slope of Sickness

There is a saying that Vancouverites are quite familiar with; 'when it rains, it pours.'  Now usually this is a saying that people don't use to reference the weather, but an avalanche of good or bad occurrences that happen one after another.  It would be like getting your dream job, finding your soul mate and winning the lottery all in the same week.

While I've never had a week as good as the one I've just described, I've had some pretty good runs of luck over the years.  Coincidentally, I've had just as many bad streaks to even things out.  By now, my regular readers are well aware I've fallen victim to yet another case of the flu.  After relying heavily on cough syrup and orange juice for the past week, I finally went to go see my doctor with the hope she would just tell me to keep doing what I was doing since it was just the flu.

On the contrary, she took one look at the back of my throat and decided we need to test for strep throat.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at this point since it's become increasingly difficult to swallow and rest has been hard to come by since the hacking cough usually rears it's evil head when I'm in bed.  then she casually tosses out the possibility that even if it's not strep, it could still be some kind of infection.  Peachy news for someone about to start a full time position and is looking at her only extended break between now and sometime after the start of 2012.  Throw the fact that I'll be needing a new computer (and possibly a new phone) in the next month and that my car often sounds like it might die/explode on top of the pile and you'll see that even though the weather is beautiful in Vancouver right now, it's pouring where I'm standing.

But we're trying to look at the bright side of things right now so I guess I can say everything will probably only get better from here.  Fingers crossed that this prediction is right for once since I don't want to imagine how things can get any worse at this point!

So Long Summer

Today is September 1st.  While there is still one more long weekend for students to enjoy before heading back to classes, and another 22 days before the official start of autumn, it already feels like the end of our woefully shortened summer.

This summer was pretty work heavy and if I was forced to find a singular word to describe the rest of it I would have to say it was 'interesting.'  There were people falling in love, breaking up, hooking up, getting married, growing families, moving away, coming home, and generally causing havoc.  I won't go into details about who (including myself) fell into which category, but I will say it taught me a bit more about myself yet again.

When I was 18, I thought I knew where my life was going and who would be coming along for the ride.  Ten years later, I'm still trying to figure it all out because I never could have imagined what the past ten years brought me.  Earlier this summer I thought my life was starting down a new path but it was actually just a slight detour that finished with a dead end.  It was a bit of a surprise that would normally would have triggered a retreat, but this time I think it actually gave me a kick forward. 

It reminded me that I'm not a person who can settle for second best and consolation prizes so why should I let people view me like one?  I will never forget a tearful voicemail I received back in June from one of my best friends.  She was upset for me and vehemently stated that I deserved to be happy, which is something I forget to focus on sometimes. It's sometimes too easy for me to put my needs aside and concentrate on making sure other people are happy, even if it's at my expense.  It's that doormat quality that I've been trying to squash for the past couple of years, and might actually be close to kicking.

This summer reminded me that even though my life isn't anywhere near where I thought it would be, it's still pretty great.  I've loved, been loved, learned, taught, fallen down, gotten back up, cried until I laughed and laughed until I cried.  There have been dark days, bright nights, and friends that have come, gone, and sometimes disappeared forever.  I lost and found countless versions of myself and hope that all these things keep happening because it means I'm still growing.  I used to want to live in Neverland but not anymore because I know that even though you can hide to keep things the same, the world goes on changing without you.  It's not going to stop and check that you're ok, it will gladly keep rolling on as if you don't matter at all.

If you only take one thing from this entire blog, I hope it is this: You matter.  What you say, what you do, and how you live matters.  It may not matter to the entire world, but it matters to the people that make up your world.  If you ever hit a wall you can't overcome on your own, there is no shame in asking for help.  If you can't do it for yourself, please try and do it for those people in your life.  In a summer full of sad losses and global chaos, it's been a recurring theme for me to look back on where I've come from and hope that the days to come will be just as incredible.

Reading this post back, I've managed to deviate away from what I originally intended to write about, which pretty much sums up my life =) Apparently this is something I've been needing to get off my chest for a while so forgive the length of tonight's ramblings.  Getting back on track, I'd like to bid summer adieu.  It may not have been 'the best summer ever' but I'm positive it won't be one I forget easily.

Down to One

Sometimes one isn't the loneliest number, it's the perfect one.  It's been about four years since I was dedicated to just one job and I have to say it feels good to be back down to one after all these years.  Working seasonal jobs along with my full or part time jobs was fun but I can safely say I've reached the point where one job is more than enough to get me through the months.  As I've said before, when you love what you do, work doesn't feel like 'work' and you have more than just a simple job; you have a career, and most importantly, a life.

Today was sad in a way because I really did learn a lot as an office admin, but it was mostly happy because I'm on my way now and what could be better than that?  Oh yeah...not being sick anymore!  But that's something to work on before I get back to work after Labour Day =)

Swap

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up in another person's body?  I know it's an odd question, but it's something I can't help wondering about as this flu continues to kick my a$$.  I know in the movies you never get to pick who you're swapping with (especially since it's not usually something people wanted to do), but I think it would be fun to be someone else for the day.  I'll trade my currently germ-ridden body complete with lead filled head, fiery throat, and runny nose with a Hollywood starlet for a day - it'd be nice to see how the other side lives to help me better appreciate what I currently have =)

I suppose it isn't really a fair trade for whomever I swap with, but I think it would be a good experience for them to remember what their life used to be like (if they didn't come from a famous family) or to see how 'normal' people live.  It would be fun to take over someone who is the complete opposite of myself (which is pretty much 99% of Hollywood), but if I could choose, I might go for someone like Emma Stone; part geek, part comedian, altogether awesome.  Although, swapping places with Diane Kruger would mean getting to hang out with Joshua Jackson, which means we have a winner!

 

Clearly I'm suffering from an overdose of Benylin 1...that's the only reason I can think of for today's random topic =)  Anyone out there have someone they'd wanna swap places with for a day (or several days)?  Sharing is caring people so show me some love...it might be what I need to finally get rid of this flu!

Mindlessness

Every now and then, you just need a night of mindless entertainment. I'm particularly susceptible to this when feeling under the weather so not only was the weekend full of movies like Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and Speed Racer, tonight I went to go watch Captain America and am closing out the night with Transformers.

There's something comforting about watching gratuitous explosions, ridiculous fight scenes, and what my younger sister detests most about action movies: unnecessary romance (i.e. when the hero kisses the girl in the middle of a fight scene). I like knowing how the story will unfold even of I'm not always right about how we get to the inevitable ending. If anything, being wrong is the best part because it means the movie was actually able to surprise ms by being unpredictable for a change.

That's it for tonight - I'm off to watch another "unexpected hero" save the world =)

A vs. F

In the ongoing saga of Angela vs. the Flu, I scored a point today by actually making it out of my house to go sit away from everyone else's in my grandmother's backyard. However, I AM STILL SICK so flu is still winning =( This should make for a fun last 3 days at work...

Angela: 1, Flu: 3

Pros & Cons

When something shitty happens, it's good to look at the positives that come out of it.  For example, I am sick yet again.  What could be good about being sick?

• Catching up on reading
• Watch some tv/movies
• Do housework (laundry, etc.)

But then you realize - oh yeah, I'm sick, therefore I don't want to do anything but shot cough syrup every six hours, chug juice, and bemoan my currently pathetic existence.

Flu: 2, Angela: 0

Guest Blog - The Zombie Edition

A while back, I thought about blogging from a zombie's perspective.  It seemed like an interesting take at the time, but these days I'm more human than zombie, and aside from the stereotypical zombie characters we're given in movies, what do I know about what it's like to be a zombie?  You guessed it - nothing!

So, like any distraction driven individual, I turned to a trusted source in my time of need, Google.  Apparently, zombies are quite the popular subject and you'll receive about 145,000,000 results for searching 'zombie blog.'  While there are quite a few sites that discuss zombie survival, movies, books, etc., there aren't very many run by actual zombies for me to talk to.  The most promising blog I managed to find was Zombie Eat Brains by Zombie Tom, but he hasn't posted anything since 2007.  I think it might have something to do with his last post outing Lindsay Lohan as a zombie.  It's a shame since Tom looked like the perfect fit to write a post about the day in the life of a zombie.  Who knows, maybe if I email him and ask nicely he still will.  Or maybe I can get the zombie from the Civic commercials to write a post but he seems really busy with work, golf and picking up girls...

Feel free to send some perspective zombie writers my way lovely readers - but not literally since I'd like to keep my brains =)

(*insert lack of brain jokes here)

Pick Me Up

I love buying presents for people.  There's something about seeing a person's face break into a smile when you've found the perfect gift for them.  The down side of this is that once word gets out, it puts a bit of pressure on you to continually find those amazing gifts.

Cue online shopping and one of my new favourite sites, Blurb.  Through Blurb, my publishing dreams are that much closer to reality as it lets you create, publish, and sell your own books.  So when it came time to put together a going away present for a 19 year old guy going away to school across the country, Blurb saved the day by helping me create the book, "Pick Me Up - Hit or Miss Lines for the Ladies." (About the book: Some people are born with natural talent and others need a bit of help.  Here are some of the best (and worst) lines to use on the ladies.  Good luck out there guys...you'll need it!)

It's a compilation of pick up lines that have been collected (and sometimes used) over the years.  Because I love all of you for reading, I'm letting you have a look through by clicking here.  I didn't leave it open to the general public on Blurb because it was personalized for one person and I assumed people wouldn't want to buy a copy of it, but you can if you really want to =)

Peruse at your convenience and enjoy!

Band Aids

When I was a kid I used to hate wearing band aids when I got hurt because they always hurt just as much to peel off as the original injury.  Instead of ripping it off fast like everyone told me to do, I would peel it back slowly because I used to believe that even though it hurt for longer, it didn't hurt as bad, so my way was better.  I'm sure this says quite a bit about the type of person I am.  Looking back, I realize I've used this method on more than just physical scrapes throughout my life.  I put off the inevitable end by letting go of small increments at a time until I have no choice but to let go. 

I wrote about saying goodbye earlier tonight (or yesterday by the time this actually gets posted) and how I like doing it just once.  What I failed to mention is the length of time it actually takes to finish saying goodbye once the process starts; it's actually quite a few hours long if I stop to think about it.  See what I mean about trying to make things hurt less by dragging it out?

Even though I've been helping other people say goodbye to Brad for the past month, I never really stopped to think about having to do so myself.  Tonight was my turn and it surprisingly didn't take that long.  A heartfelt card (that made his already emotional mother tear up) and a quick hug with the requisite, "see you at Christmas," was all it took and then he was gone.  Granted, there was about three hours between the card (which came with a pretty impressive going away present if I do say so myself) and the hug, but those hours were spent joking with the rest of the family and watching a pretty bad movie, so they don't really count.

After all the goodbyes I've already been through, I think this one might have been the best.  There was a lot of laughter and no tears.  Maybe there's something to this 'ripping band aids off' theory after all.  Or maybe it's because I know just how fast the next three months are going to go and really, he's only a click of a mouse or a quick text away.  Either way, I wasn't lying when I said I never imagined we'd be here today. 

The kid who used to be just my friend's little brother became a worthy drinking partner, a dependable shoulder to lean on, and my favourite distraction.  He's a better, stronger, and younger male version of me but I like to think we've taught each other a thing or two.  Even though things are about to shift and we'll never be exactly like this again, I know it's not the end of our story; it's just the beginning, and that makes the biggest difference of all.

Long Goodbye

Sometimes saying goodbye takes a long time. People aren't ready to let go, and other times it takes saying more than once. Personally , I'd rather just say it once and get it all over with. This particular goodbye has been coming for the past month and I'm not sure if that's making it better or worse. I guess we'll just have to wait and see once it's over.

Sing

It's cheap movie night at the theatre so naturally I took my god-daughter out to watch Glee the 3D concert.  It got decent reviews and I'd previewed the soundtrack on AOL so I was fairly confident it would be worth the discounted admission. 

In truth, it was but it wasn't.  The song selection was pretty good and fans at the concert probably got their money's worth (especially if they made it into the actual movie), but there was just something off about the whole production.  Maybe it was the fact it was in 3D (which you barely noticed), or the cheese factor of cutting real life fan stories in with the concert footage.  I truthfully liked the fan stories and the messages of acceptance and changing perceptions, but it was just too much when combined with the concert.  Or maybe it's the fact I could tell the concert itself was presented out of sequence and felt disjointed.

Maybe I'm nitpicking tonight more than usual, but I did I enjoy myself.  Would I watch another 3D concert if they decide to release another one next summer? Probably not.  If I want to watch 90 minutes of Glee, I'll stick to watching the regular episodes at home on my couch.

Last Words

Usually when a person passes away, people express their condolences to those that knew them best, and remember happier times together.  When a public figure dies, everything is increased by a hundred fold because grief is universal and can be felt by those who had no discernible connection whatsoever.

It rained today in Vancouver, which wouldn't normally be news, but it seemed fitting as news broke about the death of Jack Layton, leader of the New Democratic Party (NDP).  Putting aside political views, the country came together to mourn Mr. Layton's passing and to spread his final message for all of us.

"To other Canadians who are on journeys to defeat cancer and to live their lives, I say this: please don't be discouraged that my own journey hasn't gone as well as I had hoped.  You must not lose your own hope...You have every reason to be optimistic, determined, and focused on the future...


"To young Canadians...I want to share with you my belief in your power to change this country and this world...I believe in you.  Your energy, your vision, your passion for justice are exactly what this country needs today...


"And finally to all Canadians: Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world.  We can be a better one - a country of greater equality, justice, and opportunity...We can offer better futures for our children.  We can do our part to save the world's environment.  We can restore our good name in the world...we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together.  Don't let them tell you it can't be done.


"My friends, love is better than anger.  Hope is better than fear.  Optimism is better than despair.  So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.  And we'll change the world."


(The full letter can be viewed all over the web, but I took the above excerpts from the NDP website)

Fitting words from a man who just wanted to make Canada a better place for all of us.  Like the other public figures we lost this summer, Jack Layton will be missed, mourned, but not forgotten.  I didn't know Mr. Layton, but tonight I feel a connection with him through the message he left.  It's a sad truth that our words sometimes carry more weight once we're gone, but that doesn't mean we can't make them last beyond our grief. 

Even in his final moments, Jack Layton believed that we can each make a difference in our home and around the world.  Time will tell if we were able to take that message to heart and do something about it. 

Jack Layton, 1950 - 2011

Puppy Love

It's so hard to stay mad
at Emo Charlie =(

We've been having some issues with the dog we adopted from my cousin who moved to Australia.  Charlie is a two and a half year old 'puggle' (part pug, part beagle) with a bit of an attitude.  He's been through obedience classes before and understands basic commands (i.e. sit, stay, come, drop) and even some unusual ones like high-five, get into bed, go upstairs, and where's ninang (which is Filipino for godmother, which would be me in this case).  


The problem now is that he doesn't seem to want to follow instructions all the time anymore.  The biggest issues are not dropping his ball while we're playing fetch, not wanting to come inside when we're done, and climbing on the couch when no one is around.  Then there's the problem my mom has; Charlie frequently runs away (anywhere from over to the neighbour's yard to the elementary school a block away) whenever she takes him into the backyard if he's not on his leash.

I'm sure it doesn't help that there are so many of us around giving commands in different ways.  Much like a toddler testing it's boundaries, it's almost like he's taking advantage of the confusion to do whatever he wants.  Anyone have any tips?  We sure could use some at this point =)

Night Out

The best way to follow up a night in is obviously with a night out =)

We're continuing the goodbye parade with yet another party tonight for the Princess Crew to say bye to Brad as it's his last day of work and leaving for PEI next week.

It's hard to believe that summer is almost over since it took so long to really get started.  Off to enjoy some of this amazing weather before tonight's festivities begin.

Happy weekend everyone!

Night In

Early release from work + late meeting = lots of time to kill


Cue You Tube and enjoy =)

First Times

The first time you try something new can be tricky sometimes.  The best advice I can give you is to do some research beforehand and buddy up with someone who is more knowledgeable about the subject than you are.  Tonight was my first time and it wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be - it was actually pretty fun =)

It's hard to believe I grew up in Vancouver and have never been to a Vancouver Canadians baseball game.  Baseball's never really been a sport I was interested in unless you count being enthralled by the Toronto Blue Jays back to back World Series Championships.  Other than that, I always felt that the games took too long and weren't all that exciting.  Tonight, I put that all aside to watch my first live game.

I had been hoping to bring a bunch of friends, but eventually everyone bailed (or failed to respond) and it ended up being just me and Brad which was lucky since he's actually played ball and is easily amused by my lack of knowledge.  Here are a few things I learned early on in the game:

1. Anything at or above a 30% hit rate is pretty good (we saw ranges between 11-32% tonight)
2. Never come to a game alone unless you're a die hard fan cause you need someone to talk to
3. Sit along the 3rd base line, not the 1st, because the sun sets behind the 1st baseline
4. People will still try to catch the ball even if they're sitting in fenced off seats
5. Only sit in open (unfenced) seats if you or the people you are with are comfortable with catching balls with their hands, not your face =p

All in all it was a pretty good night.  Highlights included:

• An in-stadium home run caused when the centre fielder of the Everett Aquasox ran into the wall trying to catch the ball (he eventually shook it off to continue playing but I thought it was kind of embarrassing)
• A 70 year old regular (even the beer guy knew his name!) got into it with another fan who spent a fair part of the game heckling the players.  Eventually it got into name calling, with the old guy calling the other guy ugly, and then moved into fight potential when the old guy said his son would kick this dude's ass.
• The 7th inning stretch tradition



Ms. BC Roll, Kappa Maki, and
Chef Wasabi!

• The sushi mascot race (tip for 'Chef Wasabi' maybe focus on actually running the race instead of doing random rolls, then you might actually break your 27 race losing streak) and the fact they have 4 different mascots (a bear and the three sushi ones)
• Random Footloose routine performed during the game by some of the ground crew
• Finishing in 2.5 hours

Would I go again?  Probably next summer since the season is almost over, but at least it's another thing checked off my summer list =)

Past (Work) Lives

Sometimes, all you have to do is stop and look around to see just how far you have (or have not as the case may be sometimes) come.  I had a great dinner tonight with some girls from my retail days and it was amazing just how much we remembered about those days especially since they were all out before I was and I quit about two and a half years ago.

I consider myself lucky that I've always been able to look back on past jobs and remember so many great moments.  I've never been fired, and it's only been lately that I've worked at jobs for less than a year because they've been contract positions.  It really speaks to the types of companies I've worked for and the quality of co-workers I've been with over the years.  I'm happy that this trend seem to be continuing and hopefully will continue for many more years to come.

Distraction Day

Just a quick tip tonight - be careful when texting (or doing anything that requires divided focus) while you walk.  You don't want to end up like this lady!

Bad Saddies

'Bad Saddies' is a term I first heard during my time in Florida.  Every time we had to say goodbye to our friends and the tears would start to flow, we would tell each other 'no bad saddies' because we would see each other again eventually.  It was a reminder not to dwell on the sad goodbye, but the great times we had together and all those to come.  I couldn't tell you who came up with the term, but it's one of those things that has stuck with me even though the years have passed and most people in my everyday life have no idea what it means.

It's one of the things that came to mind tonight as I read reports about the sudden death of Rick Rypien.  Through six years with the Vancouver Canucks, Rick had his share of ups and downs on the ice, but it was his struggles off the ice that really caught people's attention.  Extended leaves of absence from the team, an altercation with a fan in Minnesota, and his battles with personal demons seemed to be behind Rypien as he returned to hockey this past spring with the Manitoba Moose.

Even though he signed on to play with the Winnipeg Jets next season, many fans wished him well and he seemed genuinely excited to continue his career in Manitoba.  With things looking up for Rick, his death comes as a shock, and the rumors of suicide have already begun to swirl especially with his history, and the fact that another NHLer was lost this year with the death of Derek Boogaard, after an accidental overdose of alcohol and oxycodone. 

I won't pretend to understand what it's like to battle a mental illness like depression.  There is no way of knowing how difficult it is to go through the simple motions of getting through the days with the oppressive weight of hopelessness pressing down on you at every moment.  Mental illness is best understood by those who have suffered through and overcome them.

I haven't been there, so I can't say how it feels or what you go through.  What I do know is what it feels like to see someone struggle with depression.  I've felt the helplessness of being unable to do anything but offer support when you can.  I know the pain of losing a friend who wasn't able to overcome depression.  I've experienced the bitterness of thinking I should've done more.

In the end, we can look at the reasons why someone may have chosen to end their life, but what we should really be looking at are ways we can prevent others from making that same choice.  There are organizations you can support on local, national, and even global levels; from suicide prevention hot lines, to mental health advocacy groups.  All it takes is a bit of time, something the Rypien family probably wishes they had more of with Rick. 

Memorial outside Rogers Arena
(Photo from the Vancouver Sun)

***UPDATE

I just wanted to share some links to great articles written about Rick and the issues we should be focusing on in light of his death.

RIP Ryp by Dan Murphy
Vancouver Won't Forget You by Head to the Net
Rick Rypien will be Missed and Mourned by Pass it to Bulis
Hockey Realities by Jason Gregor
Rypien Never Easy to Read by Tony Gallagher
The Elephant in the Room by Trevor Presiloski

Irony Sucks

Dying after winning the lottery, rain on your wedding day, hitting a traffic jam when you're running late, overcoming your fear of flying only to have the plane crash; all examples of the universe kicking your ass just because it can.

I'm in a bit of a funny mood today - alternating between irritable, lonesome, amused, and worried.  It's a strange combination that could possibly be the result of too much downtime this weekend.  Apparently I've become one of those workaholics that can't function on relax mode properly unless I'm actually out of town.  However, my vacation plans can only come to fruition by working hard to secure the necessary funds and time off.

Fine irony...you win again =p

It's a Small World

With all the technology available these days, it's hard to explain how we still manage to let people and relationships fall by the wayside.  I'm not naive enough to think that people will be friends forever; it's impossible to stay friends with everyone unless you simply stop growing.  However, there are people that you just can't seem to shake, no matter what life throws between you or how many miles get in the way.  Tonight I am grateful for all those things that help keep my world feeling small enough to pretend that my family and friends are just around the corner, not around the world.  It's amazing how easier challenges become when you know your support is just the push of a button (or click of a mouse) away.

Perfect Imperfection

Everyone has flaws and anyone who says they (or someone else) are perfect is lying.  It's such an accepted fact that even fictional characters are created with imperfections to make them more relatable.  It makes me wonder why we even refer to them as flaws anymore when it has such a negative connotation.  Sometimes, it's the things we dislike most about ourselves that make us the most unique to others.  At the end of the day, it's our ability to overcome our perceived flaws, fears, and weaknesses that make us better people.  Hopefully you'll all remember that the next time you think about something you don't like about yourself.

Short & Sleepy

The projects are piling up and my energy level is falling fast.  How sad is it?  Well it's not even 10:30 pm and I'm about to crash.  Thankfully tomorrow is Friday and my weekend is somewhat work free!  If I promise good content tomorrow will you excuse me for tonight?  This is why I love you guys =)

Jekyll & Hyde

We each have different parts of ourselves that come out at different times. The person you see really depends on the day and the circumstances that brought them to this point. My problem with this is that when you work in the service industry like I do, it's another challenge you really have to master to succeed. I'm not saying I want people to be less complex or non-dimensional, what I wish for is the ability to navigate through it all.

Jaded

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true."

~ Irving Caesar ~

I watched Super 8 with my sister tonight and after I said I didn't quite care for the ending because it was too cheese-balls, she said I was jaded by the current state of the entertainment industry.  Now, I don't see myself as someone who always sees the glass half full/empty, it really just depends on the day.  Regardless of how much is actually in the glass, you still have to drink it so you might as well do it in one go.

Is it wrong to expect visionary film makers to produce an ending that effectively wraps up the story without making me think of some American sliced cheese?  I'm a huge fan of J.J. Abrams and his work but you can't expect everything to always be awesome, otherwise you wouldn't know a truly fantastic film even if it slapped you across the face.

I Will Remember You

The arrival of August means that the end is looming.  Summer just wouldn't be complete without the bittersweet tang of goodbyes that accompany the exodus for greener pastures across the country and beyond.  people are on the precipice of new beginnings and I really am proud of them for getting ready to take those next steps towards (gasp!) adulthood. 

I would usually wax sentimental about 'the good ol' days' and the sadness of being the one left behind, but I'm not really feeling it this time around.  Of course, while I'm happy about their great new opportunities, I'm also sad to see them go.  However, I'm not feeling as dramatic about it this time around, which is odd considering how close I've gotten with some of them over the past year.  Apparently I'm taking those next steps too =)

Or maybe I actually believe that these aren't actual goodbyes since everyone will be back eventually, even if it's just for a visit.  One of the only good things about saying goodbye to your friends repeatedly is that you learn to recognize which ones will leave you for good once they're gone.  Then there are the ones that time and distance can never seem to shake; it doesn't matter how much time has passed since you last spoke, because every time you do finally reconnect, it feels like you just spoke the day before.

It's only taken me fifteen years to figure this all out, so forgive me for taking the time to appreciate the simplicity of it all, and please refrain from issuing any 'Angela is so slow' jokes.  Save those for a couple weeks from now when people actually start leaving, the tears start rolling, and Sarah McLachlan goes on permanent rotation on the playlist.

Kids are Alright

Yesterday I wrote about regressing in my work world, so of course I've taken it one step further today by hanging with some kids.  It's hard to remember the days when summer meant nothing more than days of sunshine, slip-n-slides, and Slurpee's, which is why today was a perfect time to remind myself.  I'm not sure that there is a better way to spend a Sunday but I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any =)

Regressing

I don't do a lot of volunteering any more.  It's just not feasible between work, work, and actually trying to have some time for myself.  Tonight was an interesting experience, going back into the role of underling.  What makes it even more interesting was getting to watch some of our former volunteers working as team leaders.  While I can't claim much in terms of how they got there, I also can't help but feel a swell of pride that they are doing so well and really representing the program at the Art Institute.  Hopefully more on this tomorrow.  Right now, I've got to go end the night right with a poutine at Fritz =)

Happy Un-Birthday!

What better way to spend a Friday than by celebrating Un-Birthdays around the world?  This all started when my friend Patrick decided to conduct an experiment on Facebook.  Apparently, he read an article that claims many birthday greetings on the site are computer generated, therefore impersonal and disingenuous.  Putting all his online friends to the test, Patrick changed his birthday to today and waited to see what kind of comments would get posted.  Obviously quite a few people posted birthday greetings, but not all of us were fooled.

Apologies for the gigantic photo, but screen shots can be tricky for the inexperienced to display properly.  I'm happy to say that I'm part of the few who got it right =) Either way, there's nothing wrong with basking in a bit of online love, even if you didn't quite deserve it.  A very merry un-birthday to all today - unless of course it is actually your birthday today.  You'll just have to make do with a proper birthday greeting; Happy Birthday!

Scared Silly

Lots of people have irrational fears, myself included. However, what do you do when your fears have the potential to actually come true? There is only so much you can plan and prepare for in this world full of unknowns. I've become a firm believer that if there isn't any fear involved, it's probably not the right choice. Those things that cause you the most anxiety and that you risk the most for usually have the best rewards. The big problem is gathering the courage to take that leap and throw caution to the wind. If anyone figures out the easiest way to do this, feel free to let the rest of us know!

Progress

Life hasn't felt very exciting lately.  Between bi-polar weather, work, people moving away, and more work, the height of summer has been a bit bland.  However, it is a new month and things are picking up around here.  The sun is out for consecutive days, plans are being made, and I'm one step closer to where I want to be =)

It's official - I've just signed a new six month, full time contract with The Finer Details (TFD) as an Event Coordinator!  Working as a contractor during this first year post-graduation has really helped me appreciate the stability of full-time, long-term deals.  The prospect of not finding another contract is pretty scary (and likely!), and the continual job search (especially for those dream jobs you aren't quite qualified for) can really wear you down.

I'm so excited to be contributing to TFD full time and even more stoked to be working on the Ghost Train and Bright Nights projects at Stanley Park!  I'm sure I won't be as excited at the end of October and December after spending most of my time working rainy nights in the park but chances are I'll actually love it more =) 

I know work isn't something you expect people to get so excited about, but when you love what you do, it's not really work is it?  While writing blogs for TFD (and for fun) was a nice step forward, today's contract feels more like a leap than anything else.  Hopefully by the end of the next six months, I'll be ready for another jump forward =)

Summer Planning Update

About a month ago I wrote a post on all the things I'd like to try and do this summer.  Looking back, I would have to say that it was a tad ambitious especially with just a month to go.  Here's an update on what's happened so far and what will have to be trimmed to actually get through this list properly (Notes are in italics, green = done, blue = modified, strikethrough = scrapped):

1. Watch a performance at Bard on the Beach/Theatre Under the Stars
2. Theatre Under the Stars (FYI: these get expensive!)
3. Sailing (The boat and it's Captain have moved away so this will probably have to wait)
4. Bike around Stanley Park
5. Visit every gelato shop in Vancouver =)
6. Watch at least 2 outdoor movies in the parks
7. Watch a movie at the drive in
8. Watch the last Harry Potter!
9. Visit the Island or Washington
10. Visit Washington
11. Watch a Vancouver Canadians/Vancouver Whitecaps/BC Lions game (See note under #2 re: $$)
12. Watch a Vancouver Whitecaps game
13. Watch a BC Lions game
14. Watch at least one concert or show

Just slight adjustments - nothing too extreme...

Ok, I'm obviously lying here since I've now trimmed about half of the original list, but desperate times call for desperate measures!  Although, if we stretch summer to include September (since it took so long to really arrive), I might get through more of the original list than I thought.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see how the rest of the month goes.  Let me know if you want to help me work through some of these activities =)

Low Points

Do you feel bad for this kitty?
It's waiting for you to keep it
company on the blog! =)

It would be foolish to think I could make it through a year of writing without a couple of low points.

Summer readership coupled with lackluster posts was always going to translate into less views.  Truthfully, I'm pretty surprised it took until the end of July (the 29th to be precise) to finally feature a day with zero page views.  To make matters worse (for myself), July also recorded a new low in page views, clocking in with an abysmal 153 views.

Some people might be inclined to presume I'm lying about this being the first day with no views, but anyone who reads regularly knows I'm a bit obsessive compulsive about checking on my blog stats.  Clearly, if I was going to lie about lame stats, I'd pad them so they don't look as pathetic! Oh well, at least the silver lining to this story is that we can only go up (hopefully) from here =)

Melting

Some days are just made for sitting in the sun and doing absolutely nothing. Welcome to my BC Day =)

Obviously with this being a long weekend, the rest of my week will feel out of sorts but it's totally worth it when the week starts with a day like today.

L-O-V-E

It's a simple four letter word but there's nothing simple about it.  Off to watch yet another movie about this particular subject.  Hopefully it will be as good as the previews make it out to be.  I know I've fallen behind with all the reviews but fingers crossed I get a chance to catch up tomorrow!  Happy Long Weekend to all my fellow BCers =)

Mirror Image

Throughout your life, you'll meet thousands of people, but every so often, you'll meet versions of yourself.  I know I've mentioned this before, but seeing as how I'm flipping to yet another new chapter, it just felt right to revisit.

I often find myself in younger people, such as friends who are on the cusp of new beginnings.  Lately though, I've wondered if I'm really seeing myself, or just imagining it because I wish I could go back to my own beginning.  Sometimes its like looking in one of those mirrors that distort your appearance.  Regardless of the truth behind my intent, whenever I do find these alternative Angelas, I'm overcome with the need to take care of them. 

I lecture, give advice, listen and ultimately compare them to myself.  It's almost as though I've tricked myself into believing if I can fix them, I can fix myself, when in reality, they are the ones fixing me.  As much as it hurts when they eventually outgrow me and move on, there is also satisfaction in knowing we've left our marks on each other and will hopefully be better in spite of the pain; that someday, we'll figure out the meaning behind it all.

Stress Me Out

I used to wonder what a stress free life would be like.  These days, I can safely say that I can't function properly without a bit of stress (unless I'm on vacation).  I suppose I've trained myself to respond to stress positively after all those years of procrastination.  At any rate, it's something that has come in handy, especially given my chosen profession.  So I suppose the only thing left to do is get another event rolling to bring those stress levels back up to norm =)

Shooting Stars

One of the reasons I don't like making last minute plans is that they almost always go awry. Take tonight for instance; a general plan to go view the meteor showers seemed innocent enough. Armed with blanket and snacks, we trooped up to Burnaby Mountain to stake out a spot. What we didn't take into account was having to keep company with some vicious Mosquitoes, increasing cloud cover, and researching what time the showers would actually peak. Needless to say, after 20 minutes of swatting, we double checked online and learned that the best time to actually view the showers is just before dawn. That's right - meteor shower fail! At least we've learned for next time =)

Off to count up all of tonight's bites =s

In Excess

Extreme!

Too much of anything is supposed to be bad for you. I suppose I agree to an extent; when it comes to things that affect us physically (i.e. food, exercise, etc.), moderation is key. What about things that leave an emotional or psychological mark? Those same things that change our physicality can also wreak havoc on other aspects of ourselves so I would apply the same principal of moderation.

Now I would question the emotions themselves. While no good can come from excessive sadness, can we argue the same for excessive happiness? Obviously if there was something I could give to everyone it would be happiness, but I honestly think that without pain, suffering, and loneliness, we would lose our ability to feel compassion, sympathy, and even love. There is a universal balance that exists in everything and a beautiful symmetry that uses the darkness to help us appreciate the light and vice versa.

Tomorrow I might chalk all this up to the cold medication, but tonight it just feels right to explain my thoughts on this. I've fallen to the extremes of both ends of the scale throughout my life and have felt as though there was no change in sight. I guess this is my way of reminding myself that things will always change when you least expect it and all you can do is remember that your world will balance out in the end

Time Enough

Posting with minutes to spare again tonight. Have you noticed a recurring theme around here? This week I'm blaming my tardiness on the slow descent into yet another cold/flu as the aches and pains start really taking over and my head feels like it's full of lead.

Although I'm failing to provide you all with quality content, I am at least not falling behind so thank goodness for small victories. Is it possible that the planner in me is finally taking over all aspects of my life? Quite possibly, but the state of my bedroom begs to differ.

So many things to do, so little time. Does anyone feel like volunteering to be my personal assistant for a week or two (or twelve)? =) Fingers crossed for a decent night's sleep so I feel more human than zombie tomorrow! Although, that would be an interesting point of view to write from...

Sick Again

It's been two days since the party and I'm still feeling under the weather which makes me think this is more than just your standard post-party regrets (aka hangover). No doubt it's bound to only get worse as the actual weather will take another dip this week as we wait for a stretch of more than 2 days of nice weather. This is all so depressing I'm taking to my bed for the night. Wake me up when summer finally decides to show up!

Secret Shots

Note to self: next time you think about grabbing a bottle of secret shots, remember how you felt today and put the bottle down.  Also remember how sharing a bed with a blanket hog could end up in a sleep fight and potentially getting pushed off the bed.

I'm off to continue my recovery now; back tomorrow for some explanations (hopefully)!