Band Aids

When I was a kid I used to hate wearing band aids when I got hurt because they always hurt just as much to peel off as the original injury.  Instead of ripping it off fast like everyone told me to do, I would peel it back slowly because I used to believe that even though it hurt for longer, it didn't hurt as bad, so my way was better.  I'm sure this says quite a bit about the type of person I am.  Looking back, I realize I've used this method on more than just physical scrapes throughout my life.  I put off the inevitable end by letting go of small increments at a time until I have no choice but to let go. 

I wrote about saying goodbye earlier tonight (or yesterday by the time this actually gets posted) and how I like doing it just once.  What I failed to mention is the length of time it actually takes to finish saying goodbye once the process starts; it's actually quite a few hours long if I stop to think about it.  See what I mean about trying to make things hurt less by dragging it out?

Even though I've been helping other people say goodbye to Brad for the past month, I never really stopped to think about having to do so myself.  Tonight was my turn and it surprisingly didn't take that long.  A heartfelt card (that made his already emotional mother tear up) and a quick hug with the requisite, "see you at Christmas," was all it took and then he was gone.  Granted, there was about three hours between the card (which came with a pretty impressive going away present if I do say so myself) and the hug, but those hours were spent joking with the rest of the family and watching a pretty bad movie, so they don't really count.

After all the goodbyes I've already been through, I think this one might have been the best.  There was a lot of laughter and no tears.  Maybe there's something to this 'ripping band aids off' theory after all.  Or maybe it's because I know just how fast the next three months are going to go and really, he's only a click of a mouse or a quick text away.  Either way, I wasn't lying when I said I never imagined we'd be here today. 

The kid who used to be just my friend's little brother became a worthy drinking partner, a dependable shoulder to lean on, and my favourite distraction.  He's a better, stronger, and younger male version of me but I like to think we've taught each other a thing or two.  Even though things are about to shift and we'll never be exactly like this again, I know it's not the end of our story; it's just the beginning, and that makes the biggest difference of all.