Crocodile Tears

Every once in a while I see a kid who is clearly crying just to be a brat.  I obviously don't have any kids so I can't really comment on child rearing techniques.  All I know is that the methods of yore, i.e. a swift knock to the back side, were quite effective when I was growing up.

Even as adults, there are some people out there who take the bratty cry and transform it into the 'ugly cry.'  These are people who hold nothing back, spouting snot, saliva, and tears for all to see. Since it was a busy day that happens to be slow news-wise, I thought I'd look at what it means to ugly cry.

Urban Dictionary actually has two definitions for today's topic.  Ugly Cry is defined as

a) A type of crying that can feel really good and really bad at the same time.  You know you're doing the ugly cry when you lose COMPLETE CONTROL of all the muscles in your face, start heaving and making awkward sounds (even though you are trying really hard to be silent), and start leaking fluids from every opening on your face from hairline to chin.  By the time you are done, it will look as though you are a homeless person with pink eye who got punched a few times in the face and was hit by a monsoon; this is completely normal.


b) A complete unleash of the beast with regards to crying.  The ugly cry is truly ugly.  If you look in the mirror while doing the ugly cry you're bound to stop crying.  Unless, of course, you don't like the way you look and then that could make you go into a further tortured, ugly cry.

The Ugly Cry is defined as

The kind of thing actors and actresses train for years to defeat.  It involves your eyes getting puffy, red and bloodshot, your nose running off your face, your skin getting blotchy and red, and your facial features bunching up rather unattractively.

Clearly this isn't something James Van Der Beek learned how to do before hitting the small screen with this epic ugly cry.  Seriously...Google search images of 'ugly cry' and you'll see multiple copies of this:



Don't say you weren't warned!