Parts of the Whole

It's funny how clear things can get when you take a step back. It's no secret that we're always better at figuring out other people's lives than our own for this very reason. When you're too close, you get too focused on the little things and lose sight of the big picture.

Recently I played mediator to two people who could be half way to exploding or getting over the hump. I don't want to imply that there is anything romantic going on between the two of them but eventually, you hit a point in any relationship, romantic or not, where you have to ask "are we going to keep going with this or not?" Sometimes it’s completely subconscious because things just happen so naturally you don’t really have to think about it but other times things simmer under the surface until they explode.  

Watching other people hash out their relationships makes you re-examine some of your own. Sarah called me a hoarder last night because I have issues letting people go, not knowing when someone deserves another chance or needs to be cut out (side note - my family would agree with the hoarding but on a general level since I have an alarming amount of stuff for the small space I have to keep it in).

The way I see it, any relationship is about give and take; finding a middle ground. You give up pieces of yourself to the other person to make room for the pieces they'll give you in return. Because everyone moves at their own speed, you can always expect fair trade but what happens when you realize you can't give anything else up because they've got too much already and you've got nothing in return. I've said it from the start that something to focus on this year (and last) is letting people go that just aren't ready to be part of my life right now. It's scary to think of but let's face it - I need those pieces of myself back if I'm going to keep moving forward.

It's still quite early in the day (actually it's 2:30 pm but the sun is shining so it feels early!) to be so morose and contemplative...that's usually something I save for the late hours of the evening so I guess I'll save this post for then...