Since this project is over and we're moving onto the next one I'd like to throw out just another HUGE thanks to everyone that followed me through 2011 - this blog would be nothing without each and every one of you. It's helped me realize that my writing means nothing if I can't share it with others and that I've got a long road ahead if I ever want to get officially published in the future.
So with all that in mind, I'm posting the link to the new blog, Project 52. The first post went up on my birthday and I'll be posting at least one new blog a week which is a bit more realistic than once a day when you consider what my schedule is like sometimes! I hope that you enjoyed 365 enough to give Project 52 a chance =)
Showing posts with label Moving Forward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moving Forward. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, September 19, 2011
Forced
I fell asleep last night before I could write a post. Because I've already used up all of my 'missed day passes,' I guess this means I lost the bet. Truthfully, I'm surprised I made it this long by sheer will some days as many of you can attest to. I put in the 'bunk' comment option for good reason. I knew that in the course of 365 days, there would be a number of bad days, hopefully out numbered by the good ones.
I'm still going to keep plugging away in hopes of reaching 365 posts by the time December 31st rolls around. While I may have lost my initial bet with a friend, who clearly doesn't know how to make a bet since there are no consequences stipulated should I lose, I still have a promise to keep to myself. After all, I'm never going to get published if I quit at the first speed bump now am I?
I'm still going to keep plugging away in hopes of reaching 365 posts by the time December 31st rolls around. While I may have lost my initial bet with a friend, who clearly doesn't know how to make a bet since there are no consequences stipulated should I lose, I still have a promise to keep to myself. After all, I'm never going to get published if I quit at the first speed bump now am I?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 Years
Today has been full of special reports, commemorative stories, and remembrance.
It seems redundant for me to add another memorial to the mix but when an event happen on a scale like this, it is impossible to not be affected.
I wasn't in New York when the planes crashed but I remember almost everything about that day. I remember the fear, panic, and the realization that nothing would ever be the same.
Today isn't a day to talk about blame, politics, or the business of war. Today is the time to remember all of those that were lost, to be thankful for those that were saved, and to share our collective wish for a better future.
I will never forget September 11th, 2001, and I'll never stop hoping that we never have another day like it.
It seems redundant for me to add another memorial to the mix but when an event happen on a scale like this, it is impossible to not be affected.
I wasn't in New York when the planes crashed but I remember almost everything about that day. I remember the fear, panic, and the realization that nothing would ever be the same.
Today isn't a day to talk about blame, politics, or the business of war. Today is the time to remember all of those that were lost, to be thankful for those that were saved, and to share our collective wish for a better future.
I will never forget September 11th, 2001, and I'll never stop hoping that we never have another day like it.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Down to One
Sometimes one isn't the loneliest number, it's the perfect one. It's been about four years since I was dedicated to just one job and I have to say it feels good to be back down to one after all these years. Working seasonal jobs along with my full or part time jobs was fun but I can safely say I've reached the point where one job is more than enough to get me through the months. As I've said before, when you love what you do, work doesn't feel like 'work' and you have more than just a simple job; you have a career, and most importantly, a life.
Today was sad in a way because I really did learn a lot as an office admin, but it was mostly happy because I'm on my way now and what could be better than that? Oh yeah...not being sick anymore! But that's something to work on before I get back to work after Labour Day =)
Today was sad in a way because I really did learn a lot as an office admin, but it was mostly happy because I'm on my way now and what could be better than that? Oh yeah...not being sick anymore! But that's something to work on before I get back to work after Labour Day =)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Band Aids
When I was a kid I used to hate wearing band aids when I got hurt because they always hurt just as much to peel off as the original injury. Instead of ripping it off fast like everyone told me to do, I would peel it back slowly because I used to believe that even though it hurt for longer, it didn't hurt as bad, so my way was better. I'm sure this says quite a bit about the type of person I am. Looking back, I realize I've used this method on more than just physical scrapes throughout my life. I put off the inevitable end by letting go of small increments at a time until I have no choice but to let go.
I wrote about saying goodbye earlier tonight (or yesterday by the time this actually gets posted) and how I like doing it just once. What I failed to mention is the length of time it actually takes to finish saying goodbye once the process starts; it's actually quite a few hours long if I stop to think about it. See what I mean about trying to make things hurt less by dragging it out?
Even though I've been helping other people say goodbye to Brad for the past month, I never really stopped to think about having to do so myself. Tonight was my turn and it surprisingly didn't take that long. A heartfelt card (that made his already emotional mother tear up) and a quick hug with the requisite, "see you at Christmas," was all it took and then he was gone. Granted, there was about three hours between the card (which came with a pretty impressive going away present if I do say so myself) and the hug, but those hours were spent joking with the rest of the family and watching a pretty bad movie, so they don't really count.
After all the goodbyes I've already been through, I think this one might have been the best. There was a lot of laughter and no tears. Maybe there's something to this 'ripping band aids off' theory after all. Or maybe it's because I know just how fast the next three months are going to go and really, he's only a click of a mouse or a quick text away. Either way, I wasn't lying when I said I never imagined we'd be here today.
The kid who used to be just my friend's little brother became a worthy drinking partner, a dependable shoulder to lean on, and my favourite distraction. He's a better, stronger, and younger male version of me but I like to think we've taught each other a thing or two. Even though things are about to shift and we'll never be exactly like this again, I know it's not the end of our story; it's just the beginning, and that makes the biggest difference of all.
I wrote about saying goodbye earlier tonight (or yesterday by the time this actually gets posted) and how I like doing it just once. What I failed to mention is the length of time it actually takes to finish saying goodbye once the process starts; it's actually quite a few hours long if I stop to think about it. See what I mean about trying to make things hurt less by dragging it out?
Even though I've been helping other people say goodbye to Brad for the past month, I never really stopped to think about having to do so myself. Tonight was my turn and it surprisingly didn't take that long. A heartfelt card (that made his already emotional mother tear up) and a quick hug with the requisite, "see you at Christmas," was all it took and then he was gone. Granted, there was about three hours between the card (which came with a pretty impressive going away present if I do say so myself) and the hug, but those hours were spent joking with the rest of the family and watching a pretty bad movie, so they don't really count.
After all the goodbyes I've already been through, I think this one might have been the best. There was a lot of laughter and no tears. Maybe there's something to this 'ripping band aids off' theory after all. Or maybe it's because I know just how fast the next three months are going to go and really, he's only a click of a mouse or a quick text away. Either way, I wasn't lying when I said I never imagined we'd be here today.
The kid who used to be just my friend's little brother became a worthy drinking partner, a dependable shoulder to lean on, and my favourite distraction. He's a better, stronger, and younger male version of me but I like to think we've taught each other a thing or two. Even though things are about to shift and we'll never be exactly like this again, I know it's not the end of our story; it's just the beginning, and that makes the biggest difference of all.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Scared Silly
Lots of people have irrational fears, myself included. However, what do you do when your fears have the potential to actually come true? There is only so much you can plan and prepare for in this world full of unknowns. I've become a firm believer that if there isn't any fear involved, it's probably not the right choice. Those things that cause you the most anxiety and that you risk the most for usually have the best rewards. The big problem is gathering the courage to take that leap and throw caution to the wind. If anyone figures out the easiest way to do this, feel free to let the rest of us know!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Progress
Life hasn't felt very exciting lately. Between bi-polar weather, work, people moving away, and more work, the height of summer has been a bit bland. However, it is a new month and things are picking up around here. The sun is out for consecutive days, plans are being made, and I'm one step closer to where I want to be =)
It's official - I've just signed a new six month, full time contract with The Finer Details (TFD) as an Event Coordinator! Working as a contractor during this first year post-graduation has really helped me appreciate the stability of full-time, long-term deals. The prospect of not finding another contract is pretty scary (and likely!), and the continual job search (especially for those dream jobs you aren't quite qualified for) can really wear you down.
I'm so excited to be contributing to TFD full time and even more stoked to be working on the Ghost Train and Bright Nights projects at Stanley Park! I'm sure I won't be as excited at the end of October and December after spending most of my time working rainy nights in the park but chances are I'll actually love it more =)
I know work isn't something you expect people to get so excited about, but when you love what you do, it's not really work is it? While writing blogs for TFD (and for fun) was a nice step forward, today's contract feels more like a leap than anything else. Hopefully by the end of the next six months, I'll be ready for another jump forward =)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
In Excess
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| Extreme! |
Too much of anything is supposed to be bad for you. I suppose I agree to an extent; when it comes to things that affect us physically (i.e. food, exercise, etc.), moderation is key. What about things that leave an emotional or psychological mark? Those same things that change our physicality can also wreak havoc on other aspects of ourselves so I would apply the same principal of moderation.
Now I would question the emotions themselves. While no good can come from excessive sadness, can we argue the same for excessive happiness? Obviously if there was something I could give to everyone it would be happiness, but I honestly think that without pain, suffering, and loneliness, we would lose our ability to feel compassion, sympathy, and even love. There is a universal balance that exists in everything and a beautiful symmetry that uses the darkness to help us appreciate the light and vice versa.
Tomorrow I might chalk all this up to the cold medication, but tonight it just feels right to explain my thoughts on this. I've fallen to the extremes of both ends of the scale throughout my life and have felt as though there was no change in sight. I guess this is my way of reminding myself that things will always change when you least expect it and all you can do is remember that your world will balance out in the end
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Six Months!
It's the Thursday before a long weekend so of course I've celebrated with a bottle of wine =) Adding to the celebratory feel is the fact that my sister is back from England after a two year stay. It's strange having everyone back under the same roof, which hasn't happened since I was in high school. Back then we at least had three bathrooms for the six of us; now we're down to two which will make the mornings that much more interesting. But seriously, it's hard to believe we're minutes away from July, especially when I think about those winter work days that never seemed to end, but here we are, about to get the summer started properly.
Quite a bit has changed we rang in 2011 with bottles of champagne. Champagne is still a staple but I feel like a new version of myself; someone who's strength, will, and confidence younger versions of myself would have envied. It's hard for some people to imagine me as a shy wallflower or struggling student because they only know the current me. With all this reflection, I think it's time to make another to-do list featuring adventures for the next six months. I figure I owe you all bit more excitement than my work related activities. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to throw them my way in the comments section!
Quite a bit has changed we rang in 2011 with bottles of champagne. Champagne is still a staple but I feel like a new version of myself; someone who's strength, will, and confidence younger versions of myself would have envied. It's hard for some people to imagine me as a shy wallflower or struggling student because they only know the current me. With all this reflection, I think it's time to make another to-do list featuring adventures for the next six months. I figure I owe you all bit more excitement than my work related activities. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to throw them my way in the comments section!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
One Week
What is a week? It's a length of time that can be broken down in a number of different ways:
7 Days
168 Hours
10.080 Minutes
604,800 Seconds
The last time I wrote about the measure of a week (February 2010), I was questioning what you would do if you knew you only had one left. I suppose, considering what happened a week ago, I could pose the question, what if that riot was the last event that took place in Vancouver before it disappeared a la Pompeii?
It's been a week since Vancouver came undone at the conclusion of the Stanley Cup Finals and there has been no shortage of coverage outlining the reasons for the destruction, heroism, backlash, and sense of community that came from one night.
Rioters have come forward, police have laid charges, and the debates over public opinion, mob mentality, possible punishments, and the use of social media to aid the investigation, have raged on local, national, and international levels. We are a city, united by our desire to see things set right, but divided in our approach to take to get there. While there is strong support for the public to hold riot participants accountable, it is a fine line to walk.
I believe that the authorities should use footage and photos taken by witnesses as a tool in their investigative process but I am against those same photos and videos being used to publicly attack not only the individual involved, but their families, friends, and any organization they are associated with. I think those who have turned themselves in, should have done so before their faces were plastered all over the Internet but that they do deserve some margin of credit for coming forth and issuing public apologies (even though some of them should have quit while they were ahead - actually, the first apology was re-written after the public found it to be insincere and almost argumentative as she outlined all the possible reasons mob mentality is a valid excuse).
One thing is for sure - most of us are committed to never letting this happen again and trying to show the world what Vancouver is really about. I've got faith that the silver lining of this whole mess is that Vancouver is coming back better than ever.
7 Days
168 Hours
10.080 Minutes
604,800 Seconds
The last time I wrote about the measure of a week (February 2010), I was questioning what you would do if you knew you only had one left. I suppose, considering what happened a week ago, I could pose the question, what if that riot was the last event that took place in Vancouver before it disappeared a la Pompeii?
It's been a week since Vancouver came undone at the conclusion of the Stanley Cup Finals and there has been no shortage of coverage outlining the reasons for the destruction, heroism, backlash, and sense of community that came from one night.
Rioters have come forward, police have laid charges, and the debates over public opinion, mob mentality, possible punishments, and the use of social media to aid the investigation, have raged on local, national, and international levels. We are a city, united by our desire to see things set right, but divided in our approach to take to get there. While there is strong support for the public to hold riot participants accountable, it is a fine line to walk.
I believe that the authorities should use footage and photos taken by witnesses as a tool in their investigative process but I am against those same photos and videos being used to publicly attack not only the individual involved, but their families, friends, and any organization they are associated with. I think those who have turned themselves in, should have done so before their faces were plastered all over the Internet but that they do deserve some margin of credit for coming forth and issuing public apologies (even though some of them should have quit while they were ahead - actually, the first apology was re-written after the public found it to be insincere and almost argumentative as she outlined all the possible reasons mob mentality is a valid excuse).
One thing is for sure - most of us are committed to never letting this happen again and trying to show the world what Vancouver is really about. I've got faith that the silver lining of this whole mess is that Vancouver is coming back better than ever.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Stand Up Vancouver
As I watched thousands of Canuck fans inside Rogers Arena cheer on Zdeno Chara, Tim Thomas, and Milan Lucic each hoist the Stanley Cup last night, I started writing a letter to the Vancouver Canucks to thank them for an amazing season.
It's a letter that was never finished as news coverage shifted to the madness unfolding mere blocks away - Georgia Street set ablaze, smoke and tear gas clogging the air, police in riot gear being attacked with whatever people could get their hands on.
It was disgusting and shameful for the city to have all the positives that came from hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics and two months of play off celebrations seemingly wiped out in hours. We are no longer the home of the current President's Trophy winning team, we are the city that imploded over a lost hockey game.
I sat, glued to my TV for hours watching in disbelief as crowds refused to leave and had the audacity to attack the police officers trying to clear the streets. I waited impatiently to hear that people I knew got home safe. I went to bed in the early hours of this morning wondering how things managed to spiral out of control so quickly.
Last night was an ugly scene that won't be forgotten easily. The world spotlight is on Vancouver as people question the why's and how's. Hopefully they'll also take the time to recognize how the city has responded.
Last night, there were ordinary people who tried to stand up to the crowds. The Vancouver Police Department, along with officers from other municipalities, firefighters, and EMT's did what they could to contain and disperse the crowds while protecting the rest of the city.
Today, instead of hiding in shame, Vancouver came out to take back the city. From the hundreds (if not thousands) of volunteers cleaning up the streets to the "Wall of Love" along the Bay's boarded up windows, we are trying to change the story. Hundreds of people witnessed the theft, violence, and destruction and are in a position to do something about it. People are flocking to identify rioters via Facebook and Tumblr. Sure #CanucksRiot is still trending on Twitter, but so is #ThisIsMyVancouver.
June 15th, 2011 is a black mark on the city that will take time to erase. If today is any indication, Vancouver is up for the challenge.
*There's so much to reference here it's incredible. Shout outs to Mashable, Vancity Buzz, Vancouver Sun, Globe and Mail, and everyone on Facebook and Twitter trying to hold people accountable for their actions!
 |
| From The Vancouver Sun |
It was disgusting and shameful for the city to have all the positives that came from hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics and two months of play off celebrations seemingly wiped out in hours. We are no longer the home of the current President's Trophy winning team, we are the city that imploded over a lost hockey game.
 |
| From The Vancouver Sun |
Last night was an ugly scene that won't be forgotten easily. The world spotlight is on Vancouver as people question the why's and how's. Hopefully they'll also take the time to recognize how the city has responded.
Last night, there were ordinary people who tried to stand up to the crowds. The Vancouver Police Department, along with officers from other municipalities, firefighters, and EMT's did what they could to contain and disperse the crowds while protecting the rest of the city.
 |
| From Facebook |
June 15th, 2011 is a black mark on the city that will take time to erase. If today is any indication, Vancouver is up for the challenge.
*There's so much to reference here it's incredible. Shout outs to Mashable, Vancity Buzz, Vancouver Sun, Globe and Mail, and everyone on Facebook and Twitter trying to hold people accountable for their actions!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Steps
Sometimes, life decides to have a bit of fun at your expense. I'd love to say there's an easy way to get over whatever roadblock gets thrown down before you, but let's face it - how are you supposed to learn without a little blood, sweat, and tears?
I've had my share of screw ups and sticky situations, so you think I might have retained some knowledge as to how to avoid them or at the very least, get out of them gracefully. Sadly, this is just not the case since I've apparently developed a bit of a block with this particular topic.
Unlike certain programs, there aren't any set rules for dealing with problems or moving on. Sometimes, talking through the issue works best, other times it's better to just walk away and wash your hands of it. The one constant I find when dealing with anything, is my friends. Without them to talk through all the garbage with me on my quest for the truth in a situation, I'd be forever lost and always in trouble.
I've had my share of screw ups and sticky situations, so you think I might have retained some knowledge as to how to avoid them or at the very least, get out of them gracefully. Sadly, this is just not the case since I've apparently developed a bit of a block with this particular topic.
Unlike certain programs, there aren't any set rules for dealing with problems or moving on. Sometimes, talking through the issue works best, other times it's better to just walk away and wash your hands of it. The one constant I find when dealing with anything, is my friends. Without them to talk through all the garbage with me on my quest for the truth in a situation, I'd be forever lost and always in trouble.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Pieces
I'm not sure if it's scary or comforting to look back on things I've written years ago and realize what I said then is still relevant in my life. I suppose it depends on what subject matter we're discussing. If I was talking about universal themes and life in general, then I guess it's comforting to know the world hasn't changed that much. On the other hand, reading my previous statements on moving forward, the future, and other similar subjects is somewhat frightening to see how little I've actually been able to embrace those declarations and turn them into reality. Once in a while though, I come across something that I have a new appreciation for. This is a post from almost a year and a half ago (September 27th, 2009 to be exact), also titled Pieces:
From what I remember, I was worried about feeling incomplete because I had given too much of myself away. What I realized tonight is that I don't want to be complete. At this point, the option of self-preservation just seems like an empty, lonely life. I want to keep giving parts of myself away to make room for the pieces I get from my friends.
From late night designated driving (like the wee hours of this morning) to bellini lunches to hotel parties, every moment teaches me something new even if it takes me a while to figure out exactly what it is. We don't just "patch our hearts with empty promises and hope," we patch it with each other. We should never be the same as we used to be because that means we've stopped growing.
I used to want normalcy, whatever that actually entails, but now I'm happy with the unexpected (mostly). It's not enough to just make it through life, focusing of what if's and debating opportunities until they've already passed by. It's about standing up for what you believe, taking that risk, and possibly falling on your face; and I think I'm finally okay with that.
When your life consists of multiple different worlds, it's easy to fall apart slowly. On the other hand, it's also extremely easy to have them all implode simultaneously. Tonight, I let a few of my worlds collide and it was interesting to say the least. It felt like the evening was coming together and crumbling all in the same moment.
As per usual, I had to set up my office in my room since people combined with alcohol always seem to think it's a good time to have a life talk with me. Not that I mind, it's actually the opposite. Most of the time I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, it's nice to be able to help someone else make sense of theirs.
This is something I struggle with constantly; the possibility of losing yet another piece of myself, never to actually get it back. We patch our hearts with empty promises and hope, but we're never quite the same again. I stood before the staff at our annual Princess Sail Away party the other day and delivered an emotional thank you, but how can you really express just how much some people have changed your life?
So tonight, I throw this out there to anyone that may be carrying a piece of me with them, intentionally or not, thank you for the difference you have made and for the pieces you've left in my care.
From what I remember, I was worried about feeling incomplete because I had given too much of myself away. What I realized tonight is that I don't want to be complete. At this point, the option of self-preservation just seems like an empty, lonely life. I want to keep giving parts of myself away to make room for the pieces I get from my friends.
From late night designated driving (like the wee hours of this morning) to bellini lunches to hotel parties, every moment teaches me something new even if it takes me a while to figure out exactly what it is. We don't just "patch our hearts with empty promises and hope," we patch it with each other. We should never be the same as we used to be because that means we've stopped growing.
I used to want normalcy, whatever that actually entails, but now I'm happy with the unexpected (mostly). It's not enough to just make it through life, focusing of what if's and debating opportunities until they've already passed by. It's about standing up for what you believe, taking that risk, and possibly falling on your face; and I think I'm finally okay with that.
This being the end of the Princess season, we are faced with the possibility of not really seeing each other over the course of the next several months. It's always a bittersweet time of year since the joy of making it through another season is tainted with goodbye.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Parts of the Whole
It's funny how clear things can get when you take a step back. It's no secret that we're always better at figuring out other people's lives than our own for this very reason. When you're too close, you get too focused on the little things and lose sight of the big picture.
Recently I played mediator to two people who could be half way to exploding or getting over the hump. I don't want to imply that there is anything romantic going on between the two of them but eventually, you hit a point in any relationship, romantic or not, where you have to ask "are we going to keep going with this or not?" Sometimes it’s completely subconscious because things just happen so naturally you don’t really have to think about it but other times things simmer under the surface until they explode.
Watching other people hash out their relationships makes you re-examine some of your own. Sarah called me a hoarder last night because I have issues letting people go, not knowing when someone deserves another chance or needs to be cut out (side note - my family would agree with the hoarding but on a general level since I have an alarming amount of stuff for the small space I have to keep it in).
The way I see it, any relationship is about give and take; finding a middle ground. You give up pieces of yourself to the other person to make room for the pieces they'll give you in return. Because everyone moves at their own speed, you can always expect fair trade but what happens when you realize you can't give anything else up because they've got too much already and you've got nothing in return. I've said it from the start that something to focus on this year (and last) is letting people go that just aren't ready to be part of my life right now. It's scary to think of but let's face it - I need those pieces of myself back if I'm going to keep moving forward.
It's still quite early in the day (actually it's 2:30 pm but the sun is shining so it feels early!) to be so morose and contemplative...that's usually something I save for the late hours of the evening so I guess I'll save this post for then...
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Dreaming
It's been a hot topic in the hockey world over the past couple of days, and I figured it was only a matter of time before I threw down my two cents on the topic. For those of you who don't follow hockey, one of our top players in Vancouver, Manny Malhotra, has been sidelined with a serious eye injury after being struck in the face by a deflected puck.
The Vancouver Canucks released a brief statement yesterday to announce that Manny would miss the remainder of the regular season as well as the playoffs. Obviously everyone's main concern is Manny's health but most people can't help but wonder what this means for the team. Personally, as much as I am invested in this team and its success, this incident makes me wonder about much more than our chances of getting to the Stanley Cup finals. It makes me wonder, what happens when you're living out your dream and it's snatched out from under you?
It's difficult to imagine because you never really know how you'll react until you're actually in that situation. You can only hope you won't pull a Costanza when that defining moment comes. Would you throw in the towel and give up or would you fight to get it all back? Other than what I learn through team released interviews, I don't know Manny Malhotra at all. Nevertheless, I think he'll do whatever it takes to come back from this injury and hopefully get back on the ice one day.
The Vancouver Canucks released a brief statement yesterday to announce that Manny would miss the remainder of the regular season as well as the playoffs. Obviously everyone's main concern is Manny's health but most people can't help but wonder what this means for the team. Personally, as much as I am invested in this team and its success, this incident makes me wonder about much more than our chances of getting to the Stanley Cup finals. It makes me wonder, what happens when you're living out your dream and it's snatched out from under you?
It's difficult to imagine because you never really know how you'll react until you're actually in that situation. You can only hope you won't pull a Costanza when that defining moment comes. Would you throw in the towel and give up or would you fight to get it all back? Other than what I learn through team released interviews, I don't know Manny Malhotra at all. Nevertheless, I think he'll do whatever it takes to come back from this injury and hopefully get back on the ice one day.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Hitting Rewind
No offence to Wolfe, but this is crap. Of course you can go home again! The catch is that you can't expect it to all be exactly the same. The longer we are away from a certain place, physically or mentally, the more our perspective about it changes. We are influenced by new ideas and experiences, making it impossible to return as the same person that left.
This weekend I figured out that even though you can't go back as the exact same person that left, the experiences you have in between can still bring you back as a similar person; one that feels the same way as before, but sees things more clearly. It's like going back but better because you finally understand how things are supposed to be.
I'm sure this isn't the easiest train of thought to follow but it really is the most amazing thing I've learned to do so far this year. As another saying goes, "if you love someone (or something) you're supposed to let it go, and if it comes back you know it was meant to be." Well, in a year of letting things go, I have to say what a relief it's been to see some of those things come back better than ever.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Day 1
It's the first day of a new year and I'm left to wonder what happened to all that time looming before me a year ago. I'm not sure if time is flying faster or if I'm just realizing moments only once they've already passed.
Hours before 2009 came to a close, I predicted that 2010 would be MY year. And while it wasn't as grand as I imagined it to be, it was still pretty amazing as far as the past 27 years are concerned. There have been tremendous ups and downs along with the usual late night ponder sessions, but through it all I have been lucky enough to be moving forward every step of the way. Although some of the steps were smaller than I would have liked, the act of moving forward has been a revelation.
I've always talked about the importance of looking back to gauge how far you've come and see exactly where you started from. This year I learned how to do so without stopping and getting stuck. I've always felt bad moving forward without bringing everyone with me but it really is an impossible feat to accomplish.
It hasn't gotten easier to let people go. However, I have realized that I can't afford to wait for them to be ready to come with me, not with everything still ahead of me. It really isn't fair to anyone in the equation and always results in disaster when forced.
So even though the champagne is already consumed and the glasses are put away, I'll raise an imaginary toast to those that have been left behind, including myself. It's sometimes a shitty deal but please know that you have left that person with so much more and you may be the very reason they are able to blaze ahead.
Hours before 2009 came to a close, I predicted that 2010 would be MY year. And while it wasn't as grand as I imagined it to be, it was still pretty amazing as far as the past 27 years are concerned. There have been tremendous ups and downs along with the usual late night ponder sessions, but through it all I have been lucky enough to be moving forward every step of the way. Although some of the steps were smaller than I would have liked, the act of moving forward has been a revelation.
I've always talked about the importance of looking back to gauge how far you've come and see exactly where you started from. This year I learned how to do so without stopping and getting stuck. I've always felt bad moving forward without bringing everyone with me but it really is an impossible feat to accomplish.
It hasn't gotten easier to let people go. However, I have realized that I can't afford to wait for them to be ready to come with me, not with everything still ahead of me. It really isn't fair to anyone in the equation and always results in disaster when forced.
So even though the champagne is already consumed and the glasses are put away, I'll raise an imaginary toast to those that have been left behind, including myself. It's sometimes a shitty deal but please know that you have left that person with so much more and you may be the very reason they are able to blaze ahead.
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