Message in a Bottle - Time Flies

Messages come in many forms but my favourite are those anonymous notes that brave the seas (or the web).  There's something cathartic about releasing those words into the great unknown, hoping they might reach the person they were meant for.  The Message in a Bottle series gives readers (and myself) that chance.  I am so proud of everyone that is brave enough to give it a try, and am equally humbled by the fact you trust me to deliver your message.

The messages posted so far have all been a bit sad; dealing with loss, regret, anger, and even pain.  I suppose it's indicative of the direction this blog has strayed into lately, but with the new month, comes a new plan and a new outlook.  One of my favourite quotes is from George Eliot, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."  Well I'm heeding George's words and getting the month started properly with my latest Message in a Bottle.  This came to me all the way from Scarlet in Savannah, Georgia.  I have no idea how Scarlet found the blog or why she decided to write, but I am eternally grateful and happy to post her message.

I haven't read all of the posts on your blog, but I have read all of the Message in a Bottle posts.  I found an actual message in a bottle once when I was little.  It hadn't been sealed properly so the message was nothing but a soggy bit of paper that fell apart as we tried to pry it from the bottle.  Eventually, the movie Message in a Bottle came out and the guy I had been seeing for the past month took me to watch it. The movie was cheesy and ridiculous, but it made me think of that old message that I never got to read.  It made me wonder who it was meant for, what it might have said, and what I would write if I had to send one of my own.  Now, after reading some of the sad messages, I know it's time to reveal what my letter said and who it was meant for.

Dear love,

Time flies when you're having fun.  I should know, since the past twelve years have flown by in a blink of an eye.  Even though time runs away from us every time we wish it would slow down, it's not always because we're too busy laughing, sometimes we're too busy period.  Through all those happy, sad, and busy times, one thing has always stayed the same, and that is you.  You've been my strength, my hopes, my joys, my fear, my inspiration, and my love and I can honestly say that I was lost before I found you. 

I know you laugh when I look for bottles every time we walk along a beach.  You think that after all these years, I can't get over the one I never got to read.  Truthfully, I'm looking for the one I sent after one of our dates.  You had taken me to the movies for Valentine's Day, and even though it was a pretty bad movie, that was the best date I had ever had because it was that night that I realized just how much you meant to me.  Being a silly, immature girl, I wrote a message, sealed it in a bottle, and dropped it in the Savannah River, hoping you would find it one day. 

We're coming up to our 10th wedding anniversary, and I realize I don't want to wait for that message to eventually drift ashore.  I want to tell you myself because a dozen years later, the message is still the same - I was made to love you until the end of time.  So thank you for letting me do the one thing I've always wanted to do, and for giving me a family to share it with.  If I had to write a new message today, it would be to the kids, and my wish for them to find someone who makes me feel the way you do ever day.

Always and forever,
S

Thank you so much for sharing Scarlet, and congratulations on celebrating 10 (or should I say 12?) years together!  If I ever find your bottle, I'll let you know =)

Message in a Bottle - Lost

Messages come in many forms but my favourite are those anonymous notes that brave the seas (or the web).  There's something cathartic about releasing those words into the great unknown, hoping they might reach the person they were meant for.  The Message in a Bottle series gives readers (and myself) that chance.  I am so proud of everyone that is brave enough to give it a try, and am equally humbled by the fact you trust me to deliver your message.

I used to love going to the public library.  My first love when it comes to books is the bookstore, specifically the giant three storey Chapters downtown, but there was always something about the history of the books in libraries (and used bookstores) that drew me in.  Tracing my fingers along the cracked spines and worn covers, I wondered where they had travelled and who they used to belong to.  The best thing about used or borrowed books is what gets left behind, tucked between the pages; receipts, letters, homework, poetry, all creating a story of their own for the next person to find them. 

I found a letter today that made me sad beyond belief.  Tucked into a worn copy of "Paradise Lost" by John Milton was a part of someone's journal that I'm sure was never meant to see the light of day.  I've never read Paradise Lost, so I can't really say I understand the significance of finding these pages in this particular book. 
What made me so sad about this lost letter is that I know exactly what they are feeling.  We've all been there before, in varying degrees, feeling helpless and alone.  Some of you might not agree with my posting a stranger's words here without their permission, but I do it in the hope that they (and anyone else that feels like this) will somehow find this and see they aren't as alone as they think. 

People always leave.  Sometimes they come back, but even if they do, nothing is ever the same.  Circumstances, lives, minds, and even hearts change over time and you're left with nothing but regrets.

I never imagined my life would be this ordinary.  It is neither exceptionally good, nor bad - just average.

It's times like this, when I don't have enough to keep me busy or the energy to pretend that I think about what people's lives would be like if I was gone.  I don't think about hurting myself (mainly because I know I would ultimately be too chicken) but I do think about disappearing.  Sometimes it feels like I'm already half way there.

I think about how my family would feel, how my friends would react, and how long it would take for everyone to move on and forget.  Sometimes I'm scared to admit it probably wouldn't take as long as I hope.

Sometimes the sadness is too much so I'll get in the car and drive, as if I could out run the hurt and the fear, but most of all, the lies.  Sometimes I come out and sit beside a wall, confessing to the dead, imagining their replies, until the chill cuts down to my bones.

People always leave so I try to beat them to the punch.  But regardless of who leaves first, things are never the same; I am never the same.  How can you be when you are surrounded by ghosts?

Message in a Bottle - Back to the Future

Messages come in many forms but my favourite are those anonymous notes that brave the seas (or the web).  There's something cathartic about releasing those words into the great unknown, hoping they might reach the person they were meant for.  The Message in a Bottle series gives readers (and myself) that chance.  I am so proud of everyone that is brave enough to give it a try, and am equally humbled by the fact you trust me to deliver your message.

Apologies for the sloppiness of the posts over the past couple of weeks!  I've been meaning to go back and fix them but time keeps slipping away from me.  In an attempt to break out of this funk, I'm relying on someone else's words to inspire some better ones from myself.  Thank you to M for sending this in a couple of weeks ago!  It never fails to amaze me when I receive an email from a total stranger who felt a strong enough connection to write in.  What's even more amazing is when the subject at hand is something I can totally relate to.  Although we each have our own struggles and deal with them in our own ways, it's comforting to know we aren't struggling alone.

I watched Back to the Future the other day and thought, "what would I change if I could go back in time?"  I honestly don't know if I would do everything the same or completely different.  Then I started thinking about movies where the hero gets transported back in time or into the body of a younger person or something equally impossible and gets a second chance to change their life.  It's easy to look back and say what you would've done if you only knew what you know now.  It's even easier to look at someone else's life and tell them what you think would work best.  It's like you* said a while back about how it's easier to figure out someone else's life because you have some perspective.  But it makes me wonder - how do you decide whether to use that perspective for good or evil?  When you have a good idea of how things could turn out, how do you stop yourself from making sure things unfold the way you WANT them to?  It must be nice to have that sense of certainty but I think it'd also feel a little lonely.

*I'm giving myself a moment to let this sink it - this person not only reads my blog, but actually remembers things and references it in a letter to me!

M brings up a very good point - when you've figured out how to use all the strings, do you set yourself above everyone else and play puppet master?  I'm a meddler so it's in my nature to use my own experiences to help others avoid the troubles I've faced.  One thing I try to keep in mind though is that if I didn't overcome the problems I faced in the past, I never would've learned how to help others today.  It's a fine line to walk between helping and hindering, but the best way to stay on the right side is by using your ears, not your mouth.  Sometimes, just letting someone talk it out is enough to help them find the answer they were looking for.

There's a danger in looking back as we tend to focus solely on the good and we gloss over or even shut out the bad completely.  While M might not know if they would re-write the past, I can safely say I wouldn't.  Without the good and the bad, I wouldn't be where I am today which would be sad since here is pretty good these days.

Message in a Bottle - Letting Go

Messages come in many forms but my favourite are those anonymous notes that brave the seas (or the web).  There's something cathartic about releasing those words into the great unknown, hoping they might reach the person they were meant for.  The Message in a Bottle series gives readers (and myself) that chance.  I am so proud of everyone that is brave enough to give it a try, and am equally humbled by the fact you trust me to deliver your message.

Have you ever found yourself in a difficult situation where you want to tell your friend what an idiot they are?  Well one reader has and they wanted to share a letter they wrote but never had the courage to send.  I`m sure this was written with love...

Dear Friend,


I'm sorry to say it's just not working anymore.  We're both different people now and I can't really say I like who you've become lately.  It's hard for me to say but for such a nice person, you're really an awful friend =(


I hope that one day soon you won't be so clueless and lost.  I know you don't really understand why or how this happened but I'm really done putting up with your crap.  I can finally admit I deserve much better.  One day, when you've pulled your head out of your ass, maybe we can be friends again but until then, good luck.


Best wishes,
Your Ex-Friend

Maybe this will give you inspiration to write your own letter (and hopefully send it) or maybe it will make you stop and think about how you've been treating your own friends lately.  Either way, hopefully something good can come out of this.

Message in a Bottle

I know it's shocking to see a post before 9:00 pm so getting two posts in one day before 9:00 pm must be staggering!  However, I really felt that this particular post couldn't wait until tomorrow. 

Blogger has this fantastic feature that lets you track your blog's statistics, from which posts are viewed the most, to how often your blog is viewed, and even where in the world it's being looked at.  I've been getting views from all around the world which is surprising as much as it is thrilling.  The fact that a random stranger has read something I had to say reminds me not only to be careful about what I write, but to keep writing in general since you never know what will be meaningful to someone you've never met.  Case in point, I got my first reader email! 

I don't know who they are, where they are from or even if they are male or female.  All I have is a letter that they asked me to post because they liked the idea of writing something and releasing it into the world, not knowing if it reaches the intended person or not.  I normally would have reservations about posting someone else's work here but this particular message was too honest to ignore.  Sometimes, it doesn't matter if the right person hears the words, you just need to let them out because it's too much to keep to yourself.  So, here is our very first (but hopefully not last) message in a bottle.

Hello.
It seems like such a small, simple thing to say, but I never said it to you the way I wanted to.  There are countless things I never said because it meant stepping out of the boxes I placed us in.  I never got to share a secret through a smile or run my fingers through your hair.  I never had a conversation with you through a glance from across the room or held your hand in the moonlight.  I never told you all the things I wanted because they were too much and not enough at the same time.  Instead, I looked away when you came near because Eliot once wrote that there would be "time for you and time for me, and time yet for a hundred indecisions, and for a hundred visions and revisions."  I looked away and thought of Cummings "deepest secret nobody knows" which is always written all over my face but no one has noticed.  In my life, I'll never feel this way about anyone else but you but you'll never know because you belong to someone else.

(Note: Eliot refers to "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot and Cummings is "i carry your heart with me" by e.e. cummings, both of which are favourites of mine even though I generally find poetry to be too confusing to understand properly)